I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
