the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Houston, we have a squirter
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
