great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
