I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Randomize
