its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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