Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
