But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
