help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize