My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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