i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
