Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
