Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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