My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
