I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
