1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
