you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
