it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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