Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
