LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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