then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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