woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize