# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I wish I only lived at night.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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