Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
