If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
