I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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