i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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