the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i just sent this text using only my big toe
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
