Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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