i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
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