All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize