My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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