Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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