I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
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Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
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Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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