Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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