I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
