when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize