i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
