he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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