I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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