I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize