so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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