Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Being persistent has its perks my friend.

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  (609): I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking. (215): Being persistent has its perks my friend. http://tfl.nu/wzcm
  Replies (11) Good night (3666) Bad night (503)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian

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  (616): David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview? (773): Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian http://tfl.nu/r8u6
  Replies (4) Good night (2512) Bad night (560)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.

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  (815): I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on. http://tfl.nu/mukq
  Replies (65) Good night (2834) Bad night (668)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now

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  (651): you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now http://tfl.nu/tgtb
  Replies (27) Good night (8938) Bad night (840)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee

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  (516): Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee http://tfl.nu/xpqv
  Replies (16) Good night (3201) Bad night (600)
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  (510): View more from California

  I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms

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  (510): I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms http://tfl.nu/txtg
  Replies (1) Good night (1118) Bad night (2376)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"

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  (613): Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night" http://tfl.nu/ts7x
  Replies (14) Good night (2537) Bad night (1054)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?

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  (469): Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened? http://tfl.nu/ksd8
  Replies (12) Good night (667) Bad night (1843)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.

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  (317): hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room. http://tfl.nu/qubv
  Replies (14) Good night (721) Bad night (2232)
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  (310): View more from California

  Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.

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  (310): Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it. http://tfl.nu/jpod
  Replies (5) Good night (1181) Bad night (463)
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  (646): View more from New York

  If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better

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  (646): If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better http://tfl.nu/zbhj
  Replies (3) Good night (1504) Bad night (906)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  but you are a princess that one was appropriate.

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  (732): also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed. (1-732): but you are a princess that one was appropriate. http://tfl.nu/ns40
  Replies (0) Good night (581) Bad night (243)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?

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  (352): He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound? http://tfl.nu/fs09
  Replies (3) Good night (1080) Bad night (203)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.

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  (+44): He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy. http://tfl.nu/3usl
  Replies (1) Good night (921) Bad night (242)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?

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  (402): I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible? http://tfl.nu/xkkb
  Replies (5) Good night (543) Bad night (320)

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