Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.

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  (404): He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like. http://tfl.nu/89fc
  Replies (40) Good night (634) Bad night (4241)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.

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  (713): Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is. http://tfl.nu/q4lm
  Replies (4) Good night (4756) Bad night (1006)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...

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  (765): did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me... http://tfl.nu/7ye0
  Replies (7) Good night (1090) Bad night (2563)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me

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  (617): She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me http://tfl.nu/0bof
  Replies (4) Good night (1497) Bad night (3333)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places

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  (203): She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places http://tfl.nu/q4g8
  Replies (7) Good night (5706) Bad night (1171)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Did you bedazzle the elevator?

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  (845): Did you bedazzle the elevator? http://tfl.nu/4rct
  Replies (2) Good night (3488) Bad night (804)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog

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  (907): Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog http://tfl.nu/oh2n
  Replies (16) Good night (2924) Bad night (1219)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.

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  (214): I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS. http://tfl.nu/qjb8
  Replies (3) Good night (1215) Bad night (616)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.

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  (586): My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween. http://tfl.nu/l0yk
  Replies (2) Good night (1087) Bad night (480)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle

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  (561): I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle http://tfl.nu/mlt6
  Replies (4) Good night (517) Bad night (855)
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  (646): View more from New York

  I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!

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  (646): I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me! http://tfl.nu/zxm1
  Replies (6) Good night (577) Bad night (580)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater

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  (519): Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater http://tfl.nu/zmy8
  Replies (3) Good night (942) Bad night (337)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.

  (1-757): View more from Virginia

  …If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car

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  (757): I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car. (1-757): …If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car http://tfl.nu/ri5o
  Replies (3) Good night (480) Bad night (789)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for

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  (847): I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for http://tfl.nu/6wjj
  Replies (2) Good night (544) Bad night (749)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina

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  (443): So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina http://tfl.nu/qg34
  Replies (9) Good night (220) Bad night (848)

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