Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Someone shattered a urinal.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia