so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!