Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.

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  (810): I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck. http://tfl.nu/kfpi
  Replies (5) Good night (2760) Bad night (1168)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it

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  (778): You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it http://tfl.nu/gf74
  Replies (7) Good night (4214) Bad night (1466)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."

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  (630): And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs." http://tfl.nu/aazi
  Replies (7) Good night (1053) Bad night (3727)
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  (914): View more from New York

  all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is

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  (914): all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is http://tfl.nu/2h7o
  Replies (6) Good night (6048) Bad night (834)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?

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  (519): Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator? http://tfl.nu/y95u
  Replies (36) Good night (6738) Bad night (903)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...

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  (541): Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds... http://tfl.nu/27nn
  Replies (6) Good night (2094) Bad night (952)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.

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  (409): The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out. http://tfl.nu/ni31
  Replies (6) Good night (847) Bad night (3628)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment

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  (206): we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment http://tfl.nu/gn32
  Replies (3) Good night (2133) Bad night (762)
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  (562): View more from California

  The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.

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  (562): The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend. http://tfl.nu/pf8e
  Replies (5) Good night (1391) Bad night (595)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"

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  (907): We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass" http://tfl.nu/blwo
  Replies (9) Good night (609) Bad night (2226)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.

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  (717): Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes. http://tfl.nu/frv8
  Replies (2) Good night (1243) Bad night (448)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg

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  (774): did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise (908): omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg http://tfl.nu/l4h8
  Replies (5) Good night (1285) Bad night (566)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops

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  (604): It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops http://tfl.nu/gva8
  Replies (2) Good night (606) Bad night (238)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.

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  (423): There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork. http://tfl.nu/8h9m
  Replies (3) Good night (895) Bad night (322)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.

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  (802): Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks. http://tfl.nu/vsd9
  Replies (3) Good night (683) Bad night (305)

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