We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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