did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She's not a foreskin expert like you
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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