grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
