Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
