in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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