I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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