Pregnant stripper...not hot.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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