ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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