yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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