you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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