Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
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well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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