How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
