I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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