I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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